Kind of lost at sea this morning.
You see. There’s a fine line between following your innate knowing and higher guidance and doing what others expect of you. Don’t you think? I’m not talking about you.
To be a human being in this world is a tricky thing.
My higher selves know more for me what is right.
And I have a powerful experience when they communicate with me. They are not displeased with who I am at all. In fact my higher selves love me unconditionally. I call them God. And God enjoys calling them my higher selves because it is easy for me to integrate it this way.
It is man that confuses my human self.
I mean what? Are humans to just do one function after another?
Meaningless to them. Or just to fit in with the crowd? That’s never been me.
That’s not what makes me serve the planet.
I see so many people following orders from either voices in their heads that aren’t their own heart and they pretend to be loving but it doesn’t work that way.
That’s how Nazis are made and zombies.
Nature and animals give a life force that this world needs.
Not more “joining” groups just because it’s the “thing to do.” And only the individual knows what they desire. Where their bliss calls.
My heart wants me to hug my mother. To hold my sister. To reach out to my brother and to tell my father how much I love him every chance I get.
To lift spirit of a grocery cashier. A stranger. That’s what makes me happy.
Art makes me happy. Freely dancing. Drumming to Gaia’s beating heart. To write poetry.
My actor friends who are purists and truthful and dig deep and committed to their craft earn my respect.
Merely “doing things” because it is supposed to bring people together negates love. Action That goes against our bliss deadens us.
It seems this town doesn’t want me here. It’s very clear when I am in public. The new places with young adults are glowing with life and hope and they receive me gladly.
And yet I am asked to participate in functions. They can’t understand that my heart is free. Because it reminds them they are not.
Freedom is to live naturally and to live in the accepting hearts of others.
The poor and the toothless and disenfranchised are also the people I love.
We smile with broken teeth and love from the darkest of dark.
I go to the functions here and am mostly met with eyes filled with hate and fear and judgment. Eyes meant to show me how unworthy of them I am. I love them in my own way.
As if I don’t deserve this town and they want me to know it. They think if they don’t use words to say it then god won’t hear them. God is them and god knows all.
I haven’t made love or have been sexual in many years because I am a purist of love. My sex is my love. My sex is my life force energy. I can have sex in the purist of ways. And you know that. It doesn’t have to involve bodily juices. Yet it’s nice when it does. When I come I come to God to all to creation itself. I come in my subtle self. And it’s much more blissful than a brief orgasm. I am most always in orgasm.
And when we played it was pure. It wasn’t just earthly lust. It was love.
And I’m unashamed.
It isn’t that I want to be royal it is that I AM royal. The highest of high knows who I am and so do I. In the most humblest of ways I wash the feet of all souls.
That is royalty.
And I am neither sheep nor wolf. But perhaps a bit of all.
This earth is beautiful and it is also a prison. I can’t change that. But I can be free to spread hope.
Thank you for listening my friend.